Random Thoughts of a Teenage Writer

Jul 16
Date Night by kyla-andrus featuring sweat shirtsONLY sweat shirt, $48 / Green jacket, $46 / Balmain jeans, $1,435 / Converse leather shoes, $94 / Crossbody purse / Ray-Ban ray ban sunglasses / Chiffon shawl / Forever New tech accessory, $9.36
Jul 16

Hattie’s Closet

Jul 16
Angels and Demons Homecoming by kyla-andrus featuring beaded hair pinsWhite mini dress, $940 / ALDO open toe platform sandals / KLING cat handbag / Allurez white gold chandelier earrings / Beaded hair pin / Butter London lip shine / Butter London nail polish / DuoTone Glitter Paper 12”x12”-Black
Jul 16
Angels and Demons Homecoming by kyla-andrus featuring a cat handbagWhite mini dress, $940 / ALDO open toe platform sandals / KLING cat handbag / Allurez white gold chandelier earrings / Beaded hair pin / Butter London lip shine / Butter London nail polish / DuoTone Glitter Paper 12”x12”-Black
Jul 14
Hattie’s School Days by kyla-andrus featuring summer sandals3 1 Phillip Lim embellished dress / Theory zipper dress / Scoop neck dress, $28 / Chicnova Fashion tank top dress / E L L E R Y drape top / Cropped sweater, $300 / Off shoulder shirt / Yellow top, $54 / Crop tank / Pieces short sleeve top, $27 / Hollister Co blue polo shirt / Topshop blue camisole / Lace crochet top / Yellow top, $7.53 / Kenzo double breasted jacket / Joseph black stretch pants / Marc Jacobs yellow skirt, $755 / Organic by John Patrick knee length a line skirt / Patent leather skirt, $93 / Highwaist pants / High waisted black pants / Chloé chloe flat / Converse black high top, $110 / Penny Loves Kenny cap toe flat / Scoop summer sandals / Charlotte Russe flat thong sandals
Jun 24
Slytherin Holiday by kyla-andrus featuring pearl jewelryFrench Connection top, $66 / Nicole Miller white jacket / Green skirt / Kate Spade black pumps / Betsey Johnson special occasion shoes / Wedding shoes / Jimmy Choo clutch / Henri Bendel pearl jewelry / Cross necklace, $9.37 / Lace glove, $49 / Black sunglasses / Hair accessory
May 30
T-Swift Moment by kyla-andrus featuring converse shoesPink dress, $26 / Converse shoes / Chanel plastic glasses / Kaiser Craft Enchanted Garden Collection 12”x12” Single Sided Glitter…
May 29

To Dr. Angelou

You spoke up. You spoke up and you did not let men tell you to sit down and shut up. You did not listen to them say nasty things and shame you.

No. Instead, you spoke up and you kept speaking. You let your voice soar above the crowded masses and remind us that we are all human, and that sometimes things really do just happen, but we can take those things, those hurtful events, and we can make them into something so inspirational that the world is silenced, even if only for a millisecond. You gave us words for those moments when we felt the pressure of conforming, the pressure of race and gender and ethnicity and individualism.

And now, you’re gone. We are left with a small drop in the bucket of your wisdom, small pieces of you that you were able to express to us, to record for us. And we will cherish those pieces, those fragments, those small, torn-edged bits of your heart and soul and wisdom and brilliance for us to clutch at and learn from.

But we will miss you and we will wonder what else you might have taught us, told us, comforted us with had you stayed on for even just an hour longer. And we will always wonder.

Thank you for your wisdom, for your warmth, your smile. The truths you gave and silence you caused.

May 28

Letter to society

Teach men that they should control their urges and that women are not objects to be possessed and sexed and that a woman telling you no means no and it probably isn’t because she doesn’t want to have sex, it’s because she doesn’t want you.

I hate to break that bad news to you but it’s most likely true.

That doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive or that she may not have said yes a different time. But right now, you aren’t what she’s looking for and you need to accept that and move on. Do not embarrass yourself by continuing to harass her, and/or forcing her and her friends to kick your ass. Because trust me, that is one your buddies will never let you live down. Not getting laid, sure the torment might go on for a week or two until you do get laid but it’ll end. A girl and her gal pals kicking your ass because you wouldn’t leave them alone in your relentless pursuit of the v? Ohhhhhh that’ll be a joke forever and ever.

Teach women that, while they have control of their bodies, they should still be aware of the world around them. As much as you might want to wear that miniskirt to the club, honey, it’s in a part of town where that will get you attacked. And that will lead to victim blaming because that is what our society does, that is how we behave.We do not see a victim free of blame and a criminal at fault. We see a victim at fault and a criminal who is simply misunderstood and who was tricked into thinking that poor girl wanted it so badly that she tried to tell him “No.”

Dress how you wish, but be mindful of where you plan to go, who you are going with, and what time of day you will be there. There’s always that one part of town that is perfectly safe in the daylight but after sundown, you’d best clear out and if you have to go, stay in the car, lock the doors, and pray no one notices you. Don’t go there to party. It may be the hottest new club but putting yourself in harm’s way is the dumbest thing to do and it will leave you open to society’s shaming.

Know the signs of an alcoholic, an abuser, and a druggee. Don’t get involved with gang bangers. Get help if you’re in an abusive situation. Don’t wait. Do not become a statistic.

Teach everyone that a smile can make someone’s day. Remind us constantly that we, as humans, have the desire, nay the very need to connect with each other, that we are social creatures. Teach us to love each other and support one another.

Remind us that we are only as strong as our weakest link and our future rests with our children.

Remind us of where we have been, where we must go and where we are. Teach us that history must stop repeating itself or we are totally screwed.

Don’t teach us that women are to blame. Don’t teach us that men have an excuse. Don’t teach us that I should fear for my very life because I am a woman wearing a skirt on a Saturday evening after meeting my friends at a new restaurant in the touristy part of town. Don’t teach us to hate and ridicule and blame and shame. Don’t teach my children the duouble standard I grew up with, where boys have sexual exploits and girls are “frigid” and “prim” to the point of insanity.

Don’t teach us hate. Teach us love.

May 28

#YesAllWomen and My Response

FINALLY!!!! Finally we have a hashtag that can allow women to collectively sum up our experience in a male driven, male oriented world and say “Yes! We all have these issues! Feminism is not a few women here and there being extra vocal about things we perceive as “wrong” to which we are simply “too sensitive”. The fact that you can think that is why we are here!”

Because yes all women have had at least one moment of sheer terror while walking down the street or driving alone late at night or hearing the doorbell ring at a time when it can’t be anything good.

Yes all women have been out with friends and had a man harass them, either because he was drunk and thought it was funny or because he thought he was entitled to her or because he really just didn’t accept that no means no.

Yes all women have been leered at when we wear things appropriate for summer weather or sneered at for being comfortable in our own skins and not needing to be dolled up and “pretty” all the time.

Yesall women are taught that we are supposed to feel guilty when something happens to us, even though it isn’t our fault. We are taught that it is our fault, society says it is our fault.

And that’s really the root of the problem: society says women are responsible for the actions of men towards us. Even when we dress sensibly — perhaps a knee length or longer loose fitting skirt and loose bohemian blouse that doesn’t show our curves with comfortable shoes and our hair in a messy bun — we are responsible for what that man does to us. We shouldn’t have worn a skirt, we shouldn’t have worn that blouse. It is not our fault!!! I have no more control over that man than he has over himself, nor does any other woman.

I refuse to hate men, because the truth of the matter is, there are some very good men out there, responsible, respectable, respectful, caring, honest, kind men who are just as disgusted by the animalistic actions of those of their peers who are unable or unwilling to control it as we women are. Those good men seek to help women, to be true friends to women, and to remind us that one bad apple does not a bad barrel make, regardless of the saying.

Sex is great, and can be a marvelous connection between two consenting adults. But this whole societal view of sexualizing everyone and worshipping the male sex drive, encouraging young men to become “man whores” and sleep around and have sex to have sex instead of connect, while telling young women that sleeping with anyone is bad, very bad and that showing a man you love him by sleeping with him before marrying him makes you a whore, and that having sex to have sex and not for a romantic connection makes you a slut and you deserve to get raped or something is bull. Shit. I’m sorry but just because I’m female I can’t have sex with a guy I find super attractive and have no strings attached? But my brother can do that with a girl, who will then get called nasty names as he and his buddies brag about their sexual conquests and get called things like “stud” and “babe magnet”?

Double standards aren’t cool, and personally, I’m tired of society telling me that my sex drive is a bad thing, that my desire to go out and just lose myself in someone else and mutual exploration of each others’ bodies and forget the world for a while and just feel…is wrong. granted, I’m not the type to just have sex willy-nilly and I’m a hopeless romantic. But for the sake of my friends who just like sex and can have sex with people to whom they have no romantic attachments and who see sex as what it truly is — a physical pleasure — I wish for society to shut up and just enjoy.

I want the world to just slip away in the moment. Maybe we all just need to do some yoga, breathe and relax. But loosen up.